Embracing Imperfection: Strategies for When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

Feeling like your best isn't enough can be disheartening. It's important to remember that everyone faces challenges and setbacks. Here are some steps you can take to navigate these feelings.

Reflect and Assess

Taking a moment to objectively evaluate the situation can help you pinpoint the specific goals or standards you are struggling to meet. Understanding the context can highlight areas for improvement. For instance, my cousin went to IIT-K when I was in 10th grade, and my dad had always stressed the importance of clearing the IIT-JEE. I joined coaching in 11th and appeared for the JEE in 12th but failed miserably. After taking a year off and going to Kota, I appeared again and still failed, not even making it into the NITs. It was humiliating and disappointing, and it felt like going to a state engineering college was the end of the road for me. However, I later realized that my path to success wasn't just about clearing that exam.

Set Realistic Expectations

Often, we set overly ambitious goals for ourselves, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Consider adjusting your expectations to be more achievable while still pushing yourself to grow. For example, when I was looking for a job after coming back to India, I initially aimed for high-package positions in FMCG companies and failed miserably. I started doubting my worth and began applying for lower-paying jobs. But as I got reassured of my value and realized my performance anxiety during those interviews was overhyped, I approached the next big role with a different mindset. I was very relaxed and, much to my surprise, I got the job.

Seek Feedback

Talking to trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues can provide valuable perspectives and constructive criticism. They might help you see things from a different angle. For example, my cousin's experience at IIT-K taught me that my path to success was not just about one exam. Sometimes, it's about adapting and learning along the way.

Learn and Adapt

Identify any skills or knowledge gaps that may be hindering your progress and take the opportunity to learn and develop in those areas. My failure in the IIT-JEE and subsequent job interviews forced me to reassess my skills and learn from my mistakes. I realized that the big companies were overhyped and that my skills were entirely sufficient.

Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Recognize that everyone has limitations, and failure is often a part of the learning process. For example, I had to be kind to myself during my lower salary job applications and job interviews. Self-compassion helped me stay motivated and focused on my goals. My efforts led to success, proving that having a growth mindset is crucial.

Focus on Small Wins

Celebrate small achievements along the way. This can help build your confidence and motivation. Every little success, no matter how small, contributes to your overall progress. In my case, even the small interviews that didn't pan out taught me valuable lessons that eventually led to my success in a subsequent interview.

Consider Professional Help

If feelings of inadequacy persist, talking to a therapist or counselor can provide support and strategies to cope with these feelings. My journey to success didn't just involve self-reflection, but also talking to counselors who helped me understand my limitations and value.

Remember Your Value

Your worth isn't solely defined by your achievements. Reflect on your strengths, values, and the positive impact you have on others. For instance, while my academic achievements were initially lacking, my skills and determination eventually led me to success in a different field.

Ultimately, it's about growth and resilience. The journey itself is just as important as the destination. Embrace imperfection, learn from setbacks, and keep moving forward.

Keywords: best isn't enough, self-compassion, growth mindset, resilience, setting expectations