Is Counseling About Giving Advice?

One common question that arises in discussions about therapy is whether counseling involves providing advice. While guidance and support are certainly part of a therapist's role, it is crucial to understand the distinction between advice and the deeper, insightful process that drives therapeutic work.

My Experience with a Therapist

I would never claim that advice is never a part of counseling. In fact, there have been situations where my therapist did offer direct advice, but that was highly rare and specific to times when I was in a particularly precarious state of mind, akin to Wyle E. Coyote with one foot hanging off the cliff. These moments are rare, but they helped me navigate profound transitions in my life. However, even in such cases, the therapeutic relationship is characterized by clear boundaries, genuine care, and deep empathy. When advice is given, it is a tool to help me address urgent issues, but I retain the ultimate responsibility to decide whether to follow it. In the end, it’s a judgment call, like deciding whether to use the advice to stabilize myself or, in some cases, simply let go and allow natural processes to take their course.

Therapy Beyond Advice

Therapy is fundamentally about change and deep insight, which emerges from the interplay between the client and the therapist. While advice can be beneficial in certain cases, it is not the primary objective of therapy. The therapist’s role is to guide the client towards self-discovery and self-validation, not to dictate the client's path.

The therapist can be likened to a lantern or a torchbearer, illuminating the path rather than dictating the journey. The goal is to empower the client to find their own solutions through introspection and dialogue, rather than leading them down a pre-determined path. In most therapy sessions, the client is already aware of the issues they are facing, but might be unable to see or address them due to emotional roadblocks. A therapist’s role is to help the client navigate these issues, supporting them in recognizing and validating their own thoughts and emotions.

The Role of Counselor as a Torchbearer

A good therapist is like a torchbearer, shedding light on the surrounding environment and empowering the client to take their own decisions. Rather than providing the solution, the therapist helps the client unlock their inner resources and find their own way forward. This approach fosters independence and resilience, which are critical during challenging periods. When a therapist instructs or directs the client, it can lead to dependence and a loss of the client’s inherent ability to make decisions. This is undesirable, as such clients are less likely to develop the self-reliance needed to navigate life's challenges.

In my practice, I strive to empower my clients by listening, asking the right questions, and providing actionable items that can guide their process. I intervene with advice only when it is necessary to provide factual information, and even then, I ensure that the client remains in control of their journey. My belief is that guiding a client to find their own solutions is far more empowering and sustainable than providing direct instructions.

In conclusion, while advice can be helpful in certain contexts, therapy is fundamentally about fostering insight, self-awareness, and self-reliance. The client’s journey is one of self-discovery and empowerment, and the therapist’s role is to illuminate the way, not dictate the path.