Lessons from Regrets: What I Would Change if I Could Rewind Time

Reflecting on the past, if I could go back and start 2021 again, there are several key changes I would make. These changes are not just about maintaining personal health and financial stability, but also about breaking free from toxic relationships and pursuing personal interests with greater conviction.

Family and Support Systems

The first thing I would change is not allowing family members to move in with me. While family is important and families are often there to offer support, it can also become a burden when they are not willing to provide the same level of support during challenging times. Instead, focusing on independent living and maintaining clear boundaries is crucial for personal growth and well-being.

Second, I would not help family members buy phones that they might break within a couple of weeks. Family support often has conditions, and when those conditions are not met, the support can dry up. It's vital to set realistic expectations and understand that unreasonable requests can lead to disappointment and conflict.

Personal Improvements and Pursuits

Here are five additional changes I would make:

More Exercise: During my school and uni days, I would have focused more on physical fitness. Regular exercise improves mental health, boosts energy levels, and enhances overall well-being. Leaving Home Earlier: By leaving home earlier, I would have avoided the toxic family culture and minimized the stress of walking on eggshells to avoid abuse. Starting life earlier can provide a clearer focus and a healthier environment for personal development. More Auditions: I would have joined community orchestras more often instead of gig hopping for quick payouts. Pursuing music with dedication can lead to fulfilling experiences and meaningful connections.

It's also important to defy societal norms and parental expectations. For instance, 25-year-olds don’t need to adhere to parental curfews when they have commitments like gigs that don’t align with traditional schedules.

Health and Well-being

Health is a critical aspect of life. Fighting fibromyalgia pain without medication would have led to unnecessary health complications. Proper self-care and adherence to medical advice are essential for maintaining a healthy life.

Overcoming Toxic Relationships

Reflecting on my past, I realize that the relationship with my ex-husband is one regret. I would not have married him and instead focused on my personal goals and well-being. Similarly, investing in a condo with my inheritance would have provided a sense of stability and financial security, contrasting the transient lifestyle I had before.

Lessons from Childhood

My childhood was marked by profound hardship due to the impact of my father's abusive behavior. He was a grandiose narcissist who found my existence a threat to his false self-image. This abuse led to gaslighting and a loss of self-esteem and intuition. At 18, I was released from his control, but my early experiences have left a lasting impact on my relationships and self-perception.

The regret of never challenging the abuse stems from a deep-seated belief that I deserved it. However, defying this abuse would have been the only way to reclaim my life and break free from the cycle of negativity. It's crucial to recognize that I deserve to live a fulfilling and productive life, free from the shackles of past conditioning.

In conclusion, lessons from regrets can guide us towards a better future. By addressing the root causes of past pain and making proactive changes, we can achieve personal growth, resilience, and a more fulfilling life. Remember, the power to change lies within us, and it's never too late to start over.

Keywords: regrets, personal growth, family dynamics, health, resilience